Faith and Love: 10 Steps to Let GOD Lead You to the MAN You Deserve
In the July issue of Essence, best selling author outlines the 10 steps to getting the love you deserve. In the article, she tells how to heal the heartbreak and clear clouded visions of what love should be to attract the man God design for you. Some of us do not subscribe to Essence, so I will outline the steps for you...
1. Realize your worth.
Learn to appreciate who and Whose we are is a process. Celebrate what God created you to be. He says you are wonderfully made, that He literally held His breath when He knit you together in your mother's womb. He thought that you were magnificent, and He decreed that you were good. We have to value ourselves enough to receive that God-kind-of-love from a man.
2. Redirect your desires.
Our number one relationship has to be with God, or none of our relationships will work. In the Book of Isaiah, God declares, "I am your Maker and I am your Husband." Every day God wants to prove Himself to you as a Husband, as the Lover of your soul. He wants to show up for you, He wants to provide for you, He wants to protect you. He did not wire anyone on the face of the earth to complete another person because if that happened there would be no need for Him.
3. Release your fear of being alone.
When you are alone, you have no choice but to face yourself, something that makes some of us uncomfortable. I tell my single friends that alone time should be cherish. God has not brought your man into your life for a reason. Maybe you have some soul searching that needs to be done. It is OK to be alone. Be patience.
4. Relinquish your baggage.
We all carry baggage on the journey of life, but there are amounts that are bearable and amounts that are burdensome for yourself and others. Erykah Badu was speaking to us when she wrote "Bag Lady." She was not lying when she wrote "Bag Lady, you gone miss your bus/dragging all those bags like that."
Enlightenment-the spiritual kind-will lighten your load, so prayer or counseling from a clergyman is the key to letting go. Knowing Jesus is our connection to forgiveness, allowing us to erase all past mistakes and feel whole.
5. Resist making generalizations.
No woman should ever say all men are dogs, and no man should ever say all women are treacherous. When we realize that we all operate out of past hurt and pain, we will have more grace to give to one another. There are good men out there. Find some good solid men friends to help reprogram our mind to believe that the opposite sex is wonderful.
6. Relax about when love will happen.
Don't put a timer on love. At the end of the day, God's timing is always perfect. Do not wait for some man to show up to take you on a cruise. Go discover the world. Join a book club, help out at your local Boys & Girls Club.
7. Relate to men as more than prospects.
When you're looking for a partner, sometimes you miss out on all the other men in your life who could really become friends and supporters.
8. Reap the rewards of giving.
Love is all about giving, it's not what you get. According to I Corinthians, love is about sacrificing yourself. Patience is sacrifical. Every single element that is used to describe love in I Corinthians is an act of sacrifice.
9. Rethink Mr. Right.
Judgment is a huge love robber for us. Finding a soul mate means liberating yourself from believing that love comes only in a certain color or only in a certain type of relationship. When you hear love calling, you best pick up the line and leave room for God to do His thing.
10. Recognize the real thing.
How will you know when a man's love is true? One tip-off is that his actions are not ego driven. It's not about, "I'm all that and a bag of chips." Remember in I Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV), the Bible tells us, "Love suffers long and is kind, love does not envy, love does not parade itself, is not puffed up, does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails."
Ladies, we must trust God with everything, including matters of the heart. He knows what is best for us.
